programmers are not human...
A colleague comes and says "I
want to do this thingie that shows the relationship between all my
programmes and and all TMEA programmes and all partner programs so that
people can see it visually and stop asking me how its all related."
I say, "oh... you want to do a graph."
She says, "No. I think a bar chart or a line chart won't work in this case... how???"
I say, "No, no. no, no, no, no. i meant a DAG or something like that".
She goes like, "what the fuck is a DAG?"
I say, "oh... you want to do a graph."
She says, "No. I think a bar chart or a line chart won't work in this case... how???"
I say, "No, no. no, no, no, no. i meant a DAG or something like that".
She goes like, "what the fuck is a DAG?"
I say, " A graph."
She says, "What school did you go to? NKT!"
I explain what a DAG is through this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Directed_acyclic_graph
I explain what a DAG is through this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/
So... I search for free software to help her... they are all too complicated for her to use. So I decide, f*ck this. am going to hash this up on Excel and then we'll feed it with data. I do a quick workbook and head back to her.
Me: If you give me a list of
your programmes, i can generate a sequential integer list that we can
use to reference the programmes.
Her: Use small words please.
Me: You got me so far?
Her: yes, but use small words.
Me: OK.
Me: Then we can use that list to create drop downs which are referenced by the sequential integer list in the back end.
Her: What the fuck?
Me: We'll create a "place" on Excel where you will pick which programme you want in this first column and pick the one its related to in the second column.
Her: OK. Then what happens?
Me: Then ... in the backend, the sequence will create a DAG... which we can then try convert into a tree or a forest. And then visualize it.
Her: Get the fuck out of here.
Me: Ah! Its OK, just fill in the two columns the way I told you to. Can you do that?
Her: OK... but if you are wasting my time? Eti trees? Forests??? NKT!
Her: Use small words please.
Me: You got me so far?
Her: yes, but use small words.
Me: OK.
Me: Then we can use that list to create drop downs which are referenced by the sequential integer list in the back end.
Her: What the fuck?
Me: We'll create a "place" on Excel where you will pick which programme you want in this first column and pick the one its related to in the second column.
Her: OK. Then what happens?
Me: Then ... in the backend, the sequence will create a DAG... which we can then try convert into a tree or a forest. And then visualize it.
Her: Get the fuck out of here.
Me: Ah! Its OK, just fill in the two columns the way I told you to. Can you do that?
Her: OK... but if you are wasting my time? Eti trees? Forests??? NKT!
I walk back to my chair wondering what the hell is wrong with her.
I sit at my desk and google
"PHP algorithm to convert a DAG into a tree or a forest and then to visualize it"... and then it
hits me.
I am a freakin' weirdo!!!!!!!!
What the fuck have I been saying to this poor woman? Graphs, Trees, Edges, Nodes, DAGs, Forests????
What the fuck have I been saying to this poor woman? Graphs, Trees, Edges, Nodes, DAGs, Forests????
And I laugh out loudly and hysterically as she is looking at me wondering what the fuck is wrong with me today.
Then she looks up form her Excel sheet, wagging her chubby finger at me, and says in a very concerned voice ... "Stop smoking weed during the daylight on weekdays".
And continues picking programmes from one column and the other while stopping every few times to look at me uncontrollably laughing.
Geeks. Jesus. At least I am the coolest one around, ahem!
posted by cybersn00p @ 5:01 PM
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